i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
