Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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