Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
