Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And then he peed in my hair
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