I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize