Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
