Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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