also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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