Ambien. No doubt about it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
