Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
