try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
