i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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