so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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