This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
