nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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