Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
