I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
