No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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