I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
