I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
