i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
