My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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