So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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