Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
