There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
