Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
