our cab driver is having phone sex.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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