New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
