he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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