Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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