this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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