Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
