I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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