I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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