I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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