I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
