lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
