I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
