So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
