I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
