Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
