Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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(708): View more from Illinois

nutella sex= disaster

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(219): View more from Indiana

my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus

(317): View more from Indiana

and who said we didn't have goals?

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(564): View more from Washington

He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

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(314): View more from Missouri

i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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(713): View more from Texas

Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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(315): View more from New York

How drunk was I last night?

(201): View more from New Jersey

You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.

(315): View more from New York

Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.

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