You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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