i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She announced her abortion via fbk
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
