i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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