Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize