I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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