your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
