I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
