Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
