yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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