there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
is it fun? or sober?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
