she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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