and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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