Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
