tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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