you guys were way drunker than both of me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
