You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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