Cold hands, warm shart.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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