One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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