yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
