People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
