Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I touched a dick in church today
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
