Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
