Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
