i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
