wrigley field is MILF paradise
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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