The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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