During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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