accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
