My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
