Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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