I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
