I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
