I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize