it was like his penis was on wheels.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
