so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
