they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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